life so far is recital
posture
finger positions
her mind so far, precomposed
cello
lessons
formal
arrangements
smile
and curtsey
she is young and can’t quite feel strings ring under tender
fingertips
pedantic to the process
silent
to the soul
suddenly hits a wrong note
a sour thing (but… it… feels… so… sweet)
another blunder
a deep note, from a deep place
and
now she knows for sure
she’s not making mistakes
she’s making choices
she is young and this is her first rebellion
presto change-o this is her song now
breaking notes chained together crawling like caterpillars
lightning racing up and down the spine arching high exploding
butterflies
joy fills her face spills out her eyes thrills the fingers teasing
tangled strings
presto into the strange-o she tests her range and finds no
walls
nothing to stop her
nothing to stain her rearrange her she can shape herself
into herself
confess
each flaw spirit-rich flesh-raw dialog with god
she tames the beast she brings the boogie everything
spinning spinning dizzy
she is young, and dizzy is the gift she gives the world,
gives herself, that and
permission
to be
This really sings, Phillip! I love the idea of her giving herself permission
ReplyDeleteto be.
thank you, yes i like the way it ended too, felt like a powerful kind of thing
DeleteThis is stunning! A wonderful read ... cheers.
ReplyDeletethank you helen, glad you liked this
DeleteI like the presto section racing up and down the spine exploding into butterflies....wonderful image. I'm with Helen....stunning !
ReplyDeletethank you, and yeah, that part was fun to write, glad you liked this
DeleteThere is so much in this poem to love. Your ending is so perfect. My 43 year old daughter is still struggling with her permission "to be"
ReplyDeletethank you susie, and i can understand, i still have trouble giving myself permission too sometimes. thanks for commenting, glad you liked
DeleteWonderful poem of discovery - I particularly like this line 'nothing to stain her rearrange her she can shape herself into herself'.
ReplyDeletethank you marion, so glad you liked this
DeleteThis poem is full to the brim with wonder and poetic gifts Phillip! A wonderful coming of age poem. We must be true to the voice within! So glad to see you again at the Muse!
ReplyDeletethank you carrie, i think you have your finger on the pulse of the poem.
DeleteI love how even the line structure and line breaks reflect that transition from girl following all the rules to rebellious teenager. This is so well-crafted!
ReplyDeleteline structures are always important in my writing for expressing or organizing ideas, or sound, etc, you have a keen eye, thanks for stopping by again, glad you liked.
DeleteYour lines move, as do fingers on the strings, crescendoing into a joyous celebration of being. Such an uplifting poem!
ReplyDeletethank you indybev, uplifting was my goal, so i'm glad the poem got there for you.
DeleteThis captures the mood of youth and change, seen through the lens of experience, yet without bitterness, only joy. I think it also describes well the creative process.I especially like the transition from sour to sweet, from what is given to what is felt. So good to see you writing again. Sorry I missed this last week.
ReplyDeletehey joy, so good to hear from you, and sorry i missed this, ive been on vacation. "I think it also describes well the creative process." spot on.
DeleteWhat a wonderful poem and manifesto to human choice. She's blessed to have learned so young. Favorite line:
ReplyDelete"nothing to stain her rearrange her she can shape herself into herself"
thank you jadeli, that was one of my favorites as well
Delete