ok, so for the "risk" challenge over at D'verse, i am attempting to write a train wreck, which is not a style of poetry, it's just a train wreck, except with airplanes =)
flight seven seventy seven destination
side-of-mountain
as the flight attendances take their break in the baggage hold
playing dice games
the pilot performs stand-up in first class and the last
green olive on earth swims
in his
very dry
mar
tin
i
meanwhile
(the
strike-ready snake will not hesitate
the headlights of the tracker-trailer will not blink
political
pundits scream theater in a crowded fire
and all
the hamsters trade their hamster wheels for happy meals)
the inflight meal was a can of worms
the inflight movie was a documentary on the opiate effects of
inflight movies
meanwhile
all the corporate risk managers travelling to the annual security
convention
block the airplane emergency doors wearing parachutes half-eaten
from last year’s
plague of miller
moths
and the traffic courts paved the road to hell with endless
debate over the insignificance
of seven hundred and seventy seven good intentions but can’t remember where they
put their
prayer beads
meanwhile
all the doctor’s doctor their doctrines of the dying patient’s
last rite to self-righteousness
(righteousness
(noun) a highly volatile substance manufactured in the mind
dirty
burning no alternative fuel always blowing up in someone’s face)
meanwhile
a mountain looms
big
purple
majestic
with big purple arms open wide beckoning come to daddy
come to gravity, drop your f bombs over denver and set your
engines
on fire
hurry back to earth, a big dumb rock, but also a mother
suddenly scolding us: if you can’t solve your problems
yourself, then i will
solve
them
for you
which is great news for the cockroach dreaming of opposable thumbs
Is this Spirit Airlines? :D
ReplyDeleteLoved this especially:
"the inflight meal was a can of worms
the inflight movie was a documentary on the opiate effects of inflight movies
meanwhile
all the corporate risk managers travelling to the annual security convention
block the airplane emergency doors wearing parachutes half-eaten from last year’s
plague of miller
moths"
The descriptions, the humor, the formatting, definitely an indication of an airplane wreck. ;)
I really enjoyed reading this; it's very vivid.
spirit airlines, thats funny, yeah could very well be. thank lucy, im glad you liked this (and i was just at your site, that poem was great)
DeleteThis is out there! Up there! Down there!!! All over the damn place. I love it and your unique style.
ReplyDeleteheh, yes indeed, but i warned you, i told you it was a wreck. thanks helen
DeleteCool experimental piece! I echo Lucy on those lines on the inflight meal and movie 😆 Your righteousness definition was intriguing and I like how you keep with the metaphor of a plane wreck that plays out like a train wreck. It's all very dreamlike almost as if we are high up in the clouds and getting ready to make a sudden descent! 😱
ReplyDeletethank you tricia, this was a fun experiment to write, and thank you for hosting this challenge, i had a lot of fun with.
DeleteThis once sky jalopy and its once oblivious, cargo heading to comforting maternal oblivion, obliverated. Enjoyed the format, loved the plot
ReplyDeletethank you sean, i like your summary there, right to the point, glad you liked this
Deleteso many great lines that flow and swoop and create a crescendo ~
ReplyDeletethank you grapeling, glad you liked this.
DeleteLoved it. I wasn't sure where it was going at the start, but then you drew me in completely. It's hard to pick a favorite line, but I chuckled at "the inflight movie was a documentary on the opiate effects of inflight movies"
ReplyDeletethanks ron, i wasn't sure where it was going either, glad it eventually went somewhere... sorta =)
DeleteThis is brilliant! I loved the word play of it, and also the humour 'the inflight movie was a documentary on the opiate effects of inflight movies.' I have to say though, it has not eased my fear of flying any...
ReplyDeletethank you ingrid, glad you liked this, also, i really enjoyed your poem, i was very impressed.
DeleteThis poem is amazing! I feel like every line is a a knock out. There's also this note of wry humor throughout. I just love this one
ReplyDeletethank you jyp, i not totally sold on it but it was fun write, a little more work and it might be a decent poem. thanks again
DeleteOh.. this is so great, so many things coming together... I'm a bit reminded by that movie Airplane!
ReplyDeletei've seen that movie in years, but now that you mention it i can definitely it. thank you, glad you liked it
DeleteThere are so many exceptional lines here. Brilliant write 💝💝
ReplyDeletethank you Sanaa, glad you liked.
Delete